Laying awake all night and crying hurts if you don’t agree just ask me. This year has been a really trying one for me. I am a person of certainty and planning. I plan, I execute and I am certain that will happen.January of this year changed everything. I had planned to attend classes, I registered, I was certain I would be attending classes and it did not happen. I was devastated and still am. I remember reading about people who said that there were times when they didn’t know where their next meal was coming from, some didn’t know where their next rent payment was coming from and of course some didn’t know where their next pay cheque was coming from.
It hurts not knowing for certain what will be happening in your life. If you will eat or not or where you will rest your head the next night. Crying is one of the ways that we deal with difficulties when there is nothing else to do. When you live on handouts alone, you will cry at night, especially if there is no one else to share the difficulties with.
I have made the decision to turn it over to God completely and to allow Him and him alone to take care of my needs and my wants. As I lay on my blanket on my floor tonight “I don’t have a bed” and t he tears start to flow one of my friends without knowing sent me a link to one of Elvis’ songs and my favourite part of the song is “Lord, help me smile another smile just one more smile’ and with the words of the song on my heart I will have worship and go to bed because why should I lose sleep when my heavenly Father doesn’t sleep, slumber, nor wear pyjamas.